Combating Jealousy

By Teddy Holz

Jealousy is a passion that festers in insecurity. Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. Jealousy is a fear that you are not as good as others or an envy of what they have. People, who are always jealous of everyone else, are afraid their need will not be met. is a fear that you are not as good as others or an envy of what they have. People, who are always jealous of everyone else, are afraid their need will not be met.

Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.

To beat the monster, list:

* Five principles by which to pattern your life... Follow them.

* Ten good qualities about yourself. One way to change your belief system and inner dialogue, is to journal on a daily basis supportive messages to yourself.... Post them so that you don't forget them

* Ten things about yourself that disappoint you... Single out those you can change and work on them. Forget the rest.

* Five long range goals you want to realize. Then enumerate the immediate steps necessary to attain each.

High anxiety can precipitate jealous attacks.

Three ways to reduce stress:

1. Relax in a way that's been successful for you in the past. Possibilities: Exercise, meditation, a bath.
2. Imagine the situation that is about to occur. Foresee the possibilities for jealousy. Conjure up positive resolutions.
3. Recall your past achievements. Restore your self-esteem by reminding yourself, "I'm fine the way I am".

Jealous fits between mates can be controlled through reassurance and emotional support. You and Your partner must share confidences.

Bottom Line: By and large, a trace of jealousy can perk up a relationship. It keeps both partners alert to the desirable qualities in the other.

Forcing People to Change Doesn't Work But This Does

By Nick Samuel

If you want to be known as the charming person or something that has a lot of friends then there is one big thing that you will have to know. It is actually more than knowing, it is something you must do all the time and it is something that you can't fake.

Acceptance is one of the biggest things that you can change to make and keep new friends and it is generally overlooked. Everyone wants to be accepted, in fact, it's fair to say that everyone craves acceptance. Even if the person is thought of as a loner, there are usually one or two people that he will want to be accepted by. A person enjoys when they can be relaxed around someone who accepts them for who they are.

People are never comfortable around a person that is a fault finder or is always critical. They also tend to avoid people who try to force them to change into something that they do not want to be.

When you are hanging out with your friends, then just let them be who they are. If they have a funky quirk or something weird about themselves, then don't get them to try to change it. Setting up standards for people will not help you get new friends. Let them have a little leeway in how they act. In fact, if you can learn to love their idiosyncrasies than might even have a friend for life and it won't drive you crazy. You might even laugh about it.

It can be surprising but by accepting people for who they are will actually help them change if they want to. You can never change a person by forcing them, but if you show them acceptance then they will want to do it for you. Just think about how many wild guys you have known who have been tamed by their wives. It's not because the wife forced them it was because the wife supported him and he wanted to change because of this.

Being accepting of people can go a long way not only in your personal life, but it can also have huge ramifications for your working life also. Since you don't get to choose the people with whom you work with, it is better to learn how to accept them for who they are. Notice though, that I didn't say you had to hang out with them, but you will make your life at work much better when you accept them for who they are.

Things That Guys Find Attractive

Accept it or not, every girl wishes to find place in the likings of the opposite sex. Even if you do not want men lusting after you, the wish to be attractive in their eyes is there for sure. If you too nurse the same wish, then it is essential that you firstly familiarise yourself with the things that men find alluring.

Your physical appearance is among the most obvious and crucial part of being attractive to men. It can be difficult getting men to acknowledge you, if you are not looking your finest. And, as clichéd as it sounds, the male sex is more likely to notice women with great hair, a perfect figure and great complexion, above all others. Thus, it's prudent to work on your appearance before expecting to turn heads. In case you're overweight, lose those additional pounds. Also, pamper your hair and get rid of acne or any other such unseemly skin conditions to render your skin blemish free and fresh.

However, there is nothing that you ought to be disappointed about even in case you have not been blessed with the best of features. As long as you seem approachable enough, you're sure to have guys coming your way. As a matter of fact, many lovely ladies aren't frequently approached. The cause of the same is that exceptionally lovely females appear unapproachable, which could be intimidating for most men.

Nevertheless, as taken as they are with your external appearance; a guy does not necessarily favor girls who resemble models or cheerleaders. There are many guys who favor the girl-next-door look. In other words, they're looking for someone low maintenance, who's also fun to hang around with. So, if you want a guy to notice you; let your 'down to earth' qualities shine through.

Another thing that could attract guys is hygiene. If you appear unkempt and unhygienic, you're bound to scare away gents. Having a good skin and shiny, fragrant hair alone cannot be enough. Pay attention to your breath too. In case you have an acne prone skin, then too, you might appear to be unhygienic to many. Nevertheless, you could set the trouble right with the help of effective products such as Zenmed Skin care System.

Recent reports indicate that men find gals with strong faith and confidence levels attractive. By faith, it does not mean chanting Buddhist mantras or being hooked to a particular religion. Faith just indicates belief in your values and yourself. Males find it pretty enticing to have ladies who are extremely confident about what they believe in.

An open mind is also attractive for most men. The reason why open minded girls are valued so highly is because it enables the males to indulge in some free space of their own. Besides, a broad minded individual is also more receptive of distinct views and ideologies. This certain trait can also make things easier in a relationship.

In case you could imbibe any of the above features, you're sure to find place in the 'wanted' list for males.

Complacency and Long Term Relationship

By Alex Ryan

It is easy to get complacent when you have been in a long term relationship. This complacency can lead to problems in a relationship.

You can get around this complacency by having a date night. You need to take your partner and go do something you both enjoy. There is magic in the simple act of going on a date. The idea gets ignored too much after the initial courtship.

Keep it simple. The importance is that you are going on a date and not how flashy it is. A marriage can benefit from the simplest of dates. No need to spend tons of money and try to impress your spouse. Money is not the answer.

The idea is that you need to be by yourselves for a little while. You need to do this on a consistent basis to keep the sparks flowing.

Women make assumptions that you do not want to be with them especially in public. Going on a date can alleviate this concern. Dating keeps the excitement alive and reduce to boredom leads your spouse to feel rejected. Do not take this risk or assume that it cannot happen to your relationship.

Make a goal of setting regular times to go out with you spouse. Go outside the mainstream and do something sometimes besides dinner and a movie. A dinner and movie still is better than nothing.

An atmosphere of romance needs to be created between the two of you. Get creative and push the envelope. Do something spur of the moment like playing miniature golf or recreate when you got engages.

Plan ahead and get a babysitter to watch the kids. Keep a list handy of family members or friends who can watch the kids so you can go on a date. Your relationship and sex life will flourish if you have regular alone time

Greatest Love Delusions of All Time

By Harry Hogan

Indeed there is no greater feeling other than loving and being loved in return. Love is such a powerful force. It unites kingdoms, it enables one to exceed capabilities, and it brings forth a special kind of courage and strength. When you look around, there are all these excitement of sudden declarations of love. On the other hand, there are also a number of abrupt separations. Perhaps they too were caught up in the many myths related to love. Read on to find out the greatest of them.

True Love Happens Only In Fairytales

True Love doesn't exist. This is one of the greatest present misconceptions. The truth is, true love for them is not possible, because in the first place they don't know what true love is, and if they do, they do not have the capability to emulate it. The core of true love is selfless giving. True love is to give wholeheartedly without expecting anything in return. True love is putting yourself last and placing the needs of others as a priority. Simply think of a mother breastfeeding her child each time the child feels hungry. No second thoughts involved, no reservations, the automatic action is to give happily; this is true love. If you can love as much as this, then you know how to give true love.

Love Fades

Some people seem to believe that love may fade somewhere in a relationship. "I just fell out of love." This is a great fallacy and millions still use this reason. True love doesn't just happen. It is nurtured for years. It is strengthened by the quality of time you willingly give for one another and the struggles that you choose to overcome together. One doesn't "fall out of love", instead one or the two of you simply ceased to maintain it. When you continue to do actions, allot time, or just 'work for it', love will last.

Love Completes You

"You complete me", "You make me whole", "I could never live without you". Don't you just love it when someone tells you this? In truth, whether if it were said sincerely or just to flatter you, these lines should serve as a warning sign. It is not you or your partner's responsibility to make you feel complete. How can you expect to give wholeheartedly when you don't even feel complete by yourself? Work on your personal contentment first. Learn to love yourself, and know that you on your own are special and worthy. When you have achieved this, the abundance of love in your heart will overflow and pour to that significant person. Love will then be on the right perspective because you do not expect anything from the other.

Love Is All You Need

Now don't be easily swayed by all these love songs that says love is all you need or love will keep you alive. The truth is, love alone is not sufficient. You need to have the perfect communication. This means being able to understand, listen to or interpret each other's feelings in words, actions or simple gestures. You have to enjoy your conversations whether they involve serious matters or random day to day talks. You also need patience, the ability to listen and understand and teamwork.

Love Changes A Person

No, your love will not create change in a person. You may have heard about real life stories about how people changed when they got married. It was wrong to assume that they changed because they found real love. What really happened is that they enforced change within themselves because of the awareness of real love. They realized their responsibilities, mistakes, or inadequacies and they were mature enough to answer to all of those. No one has the power to invoke changed within us but only us because it is only we that have the power and control over our emotions and actions. A person will change not primarily because of you, but because they 'wanted to'.

3 Killer Strategies to Getting Your Guy to Commit

By Tina L. Jones

Have you tried to get your guy to commit, only to fail miserably? Are you tired of feeling trapped in a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere? Do you want to know strategies that can help you to get your guy to commit so that you can take your relationship to the next phase? So many men cringe at even the mention of commitment. This makes it really hard to know how to approach the subject. However, there are three strategies that you can use to help your guy move into the commitment phase.

The first step in getting your guy to commit is to communicate. This may seem really scary, but your guy won't know where you are in the relationship if you don't communicate with him. You can't reasonably expect him to simply do something without you talking to him first. He may be completely comfortable with where your relationship is and be oblivious to the fact that you are not. Try to approach the subject without making accusations. Focus instead on how you feel. This will let him know that you are ready for a commitment without pressuring him into doing the same. Be aware that this talk might cause him to pull away. This is a very normal reaction in men but is not an indicator of his love for you.

The next step is to take action. This is where you start to draw your guy back in. Instead of nagging or complaining, you will, instead, take action. Start spending more time away from him. Spend time traveling. Spend more time with friends and family. Go shopping. Do anything and everything that makes you happy. The main point is to make sure that you do these things without him. Make your schedule full, and do not reschedule anything in order to spend time with him. If he truly cares for you, he will start to become concerned that he is losing you. He will really start to think about his actions. Your talk about commitment matched with your absence will give him a clear picture that if he wants to be a part of your life, he will have to step it up a notch. There is the possibility that this won't phase him. In this case, move to step three.

Step three is to be saved as a last resort. This step is also to be used with caution. If used for the wrong reasons, this step could ruin your relationship. In this step, you will expand your options. If he is still insistent on playing the field, it is now time for you to consider that he may not be willing to change. This could mean that his feelings for you aren't true. It could also mean that he needs a serious wake up call. Either way, if he refuses to commit, then realistically, you shouldn't have to commit either. During this time, you should really start to consider that another man might be more willing to give you the relationship you need.

It is important to understand, you cannot make anyone do anything that they don't want to. However, by following these three techniques, you will either get your guy to commit or find another man that will.

A Relationship Can Survive After Infidelity

By Briana Taylor

The one person you found you could trust has just betrayed you. How selfish can someone be? How ungrateful and inconsiderate? These may be some of the reoccurring thoughts that run through your mind when your significant other admits or is caught doing the unthinkable. However, there are a few things that you should consider before pointing fingers. There is one side of the story, then there is the other, then there is the ugly truth.

"About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage." states therapist, Peggy Vaugn, author of "Monogamy Myth." It is not uncommon for infidelity to happen in today's society. With easily accessed internet dating sites it is actually more common to be unfaithful or to find a partner that is.

However, through research and personal experience, I have found that with real love, real commitment and honesty, a relationship can be saved from the rearing head of adultery. To begin, you have to ask yourself a few key questions and make a few difficult decisions.

First the Questions: The questions will be the same regardless if you are the cheater or the cheat-ee.

Question 1:
Are you really still in LOVE with this person?
LOVE, NOT lust, infatuation, comfortability, financially dependence, routine-dependence.... LOVE. Just because they have been in your life 2 years or 60 years does not mean you are in love with them. No matter what the age, if you are unhappy, you can find someone else. However, if you are absolutely, positively, unquestionably in LOVE with your man or woman, please see question 2.

Question 2:
Why did your significant other cheat?
You have to REALLY consider the reality of this question. For example, yes that two-timing, scumbag husband cheated on his wife... But what if the husband told you his wife stopped looking at him, she commented on his weight, lack of success, and completely stopped having sex with him? Flipside: Yes, that dirty sloot slept around on her poor working husband... but what if she told you the last time she had romance was 4 years ago and the last time she saw him for more than 30 minutes was the for the meal she made him eat, then he took 6 business calls before he went to bed with an Ipad in his lap followed by his morning flight to Chicago.

Everyone knows there is a way to avoid cheating.. file for divorce, separate... but sometimes infidelity is a WAKE UP CALL.

Decisions:

Decision 1:
If you are not in LOVE with this person as we discussed earlier... Break up. File for Divorce. Move ON!! If you are clearly miserable with this person that you are NOT in love with... WHY ARE YOU WITH THEM? Be selfish, as they were and make yourself HAPPY. You only have one life and why use it trying to MAKE a relationship work when there are MILLIONS of options that are just WAITING to take care of you! No excuses.. "we have kids, we have a house, we have a dog, we have a car, we have a joint cell phone plan, we have a gym membership, he/ she has my cds.." the list is of excuses are just excuses.. the only excuse that allows you to repair your relationship is love. If you are STILL in love.. See Decision 2.

Decision 2:
Okay, so once you have been cheated on (have cheated), you know you love the person that cheated (or that you cheated on), and you want to patch the relationship... You have to do 2 things:

1. You have to be completely honest about how you feel, what happened and with whom. On the account that it was not your significant other's family member you can go on to 2.

2. This dilemma in your life that has devastated you both must be buried. If you want the relationship to move forward you must absolutely, under NO circumstance, EVER bring it up again.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has impulses and urges that need to be fed. Often after someone has cheated, they feel remorseful and realize that hey have committed the ultimate crime in monogamy. With this intense guilt comes understanding. There is sometimes am epiphany that goes a little like this, "I will never ever do that again, it was not worth it, and I will forever try to be everything my spouse wants, to keep them." They learn one of two things, they do not deserve you or they need to step up to give you what you deserve.