Misunderstandings are inevitable in any kind of relationship - even with romantic couples. And fights will always come along. When disagreements come on a very tiring day or at a very frustrating moment, you'll most likely end up shouting at each other and having a deafening silence after. Whatever the reasons of your fights are, whoever is the culprit or whoever is the most at fault, the most important thing is how to patch up things back. You can get tired of the fights and the way she shouts at you. You may say you want no more of it but the most important thing really is how to make up after a big fight.
Let me walk you through it.
Take some quiet time.
The silence may be deafening but this moment actually helps. It makes you think. It allows you to replay the event in your mind and have an evaluation. Eventually the two of you will see each other's points and will be able to weigh how things should be really done. Cooling down is important in order for the two of you to be able to think properly and wisely. Deciding on the disagreement while angry won't do the two of you any good.
Apologize with sincerity.
Do not force yourself to say sorry just to end the argument. Apologize, only when you really mean it. There will be times that it will take a long time before your pride will let you say that four-letter-word, but it's better to not say it than let it spill without meaning it at all. If you will think about it, whether you started the fight or not, you will surely have something to apologize about. So think things thoroughly and make sure that in your heart of hearts, your apology is meant with sincerity. She will be able to feel it. That's for sure.
When you're sorry, mean it.
Saying sorry is one thing. But showing that you really are, is another. That is how the game of life goes, whenever you are at fault and after you have admitted your deficiencies and shortcomings, it's time for you to show her how much sorry you were. You can cook for her in the morning or invite her to dinner the following night. It is important that you let her know that despite your differences, you still love and value her. And when she says sorry back, accept it with all your heart.
Talk things through once more with calmness.
Now that the two of you have admitted each other's mistakes and now that the two of you have shown how sorry you were, it's time to talk things through again. Explain your side and be honest. Let her know why you got upset. Share with her your inner most feelings about the subject. Do not be afraid to admit that your weaknesses or fears have made you fuming and irritated. By confiding what you really feel to her, she will surely have her heart melting and who knows?! You might end up winning the argument! Remember that communication is the key. Also, it's not what you say but how you say it.
Let go.
What's done is done. It is never helpful to re-open wounds. Let go. That's why sincerity and honesty is important in making up after a big fight. Because, if you aren't really sorry with what has happened, if your forgiveness is not sincere and you don't really mean all your apologetic gestures, you will end up holding a grudge against your partner. That won't solve anything. And it could even lead to a more serious fired up arguments and fights.
By Toby Hardwick
Let me walk you through it.
Take some quiet time.
The silence may be deafening but this moment actually helps. It makes you think. It allows you to replay the event in your mind and have an evaluation. Eventually the two of you will see each other's points and will be able to weigh how things should be really done. Cooling down is important in order for the two of you to be able to think properly and wisely. Deciding on the disagreement while angry won't do the two of you any good.
Apologize with sincerity.
Do not force yourself to say sorry just to end the argument. Apologize, only when you really mean it. There will be times that it will take a long time before your pride will let you say that four-letter-word, but it's better to not say it than let it spill without meaning it at all. If you will think about it, whether you started the fight or not, you will surely have something to apologize about. So think things thoroughly and make sure that in your heart of hearts, your apology is meant with sincerity. She will be able to feel it. That's for sure.
When you're sorry, mean it.
Saying sorry is one thing. But showing that you really are, is another. That is how the game of life goes, whenever you are at fault and after you have admitted your deficiencies and shortcomings, it's time for you to show her how much sorry you were. You can cook for her in the morning or invite her to dinner the following night. It is important that you let her know that despite your differences, you still love and value her. And when she says sorry back, accept it with all your heart.
Talk things through once more with calmness.
Now that the two of you have admitted each other's mistakes and now that the two of you have shown how sorry you were, it's time to talk things through again. Explain your side and be honest. Let her know why you got upset. Share with her your inner most feelings about the subject. Do not be afraid to admit that your weaknesses or fears have made you fuming and irritated. By confiding what you really feel to her, she will surely have her heart melting and who knows?! You might end up winning the argument! Remember that communication is the key. Also, it's not what you say but how you say it.
Let go.
What's done is done. It is never helpful to re-open wounds. Let go. That's why sincerity and honesty is important in making up after a big fight. Because, if you aren't really sorry with what has happened, if your forgiveness is not sincere and you don't really mean all your apologetic gestures, you will end up holding a grudge against your partner. That won't solve anything. And it could even lead to a more serious fired up arguments and fights.
By Toby Hardwick
